MRS. MEYER'S DISH SOAP (3x25")
MUM: (shouting out) Who's doing the dishes tonight?
DAUGHTER 1: (shouting back) I will, mom!
DAUGHTER 2: You did the dishes yesterday; I'll do them today.
DAUGHTER 1: Oh, I don't mind doing them again.
DAUGHTER 2: You always get away with doing the dishes.
DAUGHTER 1: Why is my happiness so inconvenient to you?
DAUGHTER 2: Unbelievable. Have you stopped to consider that maybe I deserve doing the dishes too?!
DAD: Girls, enough! (Pause) I'll do the dishes.
V.O.: Mrs. Meyer's Rosemary Dish Soap
'Makes cleaning too pleasant'
MAN: Hey love, how about you cook today and I do the dishes?
WOMAN: It’s okay, honey, I can do the dishes.
MAN: No… I said it first. I’ll do the dishes.
WOMAN: Stop being a child. I’m in charge of the dishes.
MAN: Why? I think I deserve doing the dishes too!
WOMAN: And I deserve someone who will always let me do the dishes!
MAN: Good luck finding someone like that.
WOMAN: (Pause) Fine, we’ll order take away.
MAN: Okay – but I’m doing the dishes.
V.O.: Mrs. Meyer's Honeysuckle Dish Soap
'Makes cleaning too pleasant'
HOUSEMATE 1: Dinner was delicious! I’ll do the dishes now.
HOUSEMATE 2: Don’t worry, man. You sit and relax.
HOUSEMATE 1: No way. You cook and I clean: that’s the deal.
HOUSEMATE 2: You can cook next Sunday. I’ll do the dishes.
HOUSEMATE 1: Please, I insist. I want to do the dishes.
HOUSEMATE 2: No. Go clean your own mess.
HOUSEMATE 1: What do you mean?
HOUSEMATE 2: I mean that I’m doing the dishes!
HOUSEMATE 1: If you do the dishes, I’m moving out.
HOUSEMATE 2: You leave me no choice.
V.O.: Mrs. Meyer's Peppermint Dish Soap
'Makes cleaning too pleasant'
SAW IT COMING? (40")
EXT. STREET. DAY.
Two guys, in business suits, bump into each other after grabbing their mid-morning take away coffee. They walk back to work together. GUY 1 pats his friend on the back, who remains absent minded.
GUY 1: What’s cooking up in the office today, man?
GUY 2: Well, you see, I’m having a bit of trouble writing a TVC for this accident insurance company. They have a great policy that covers 100% of base costs, no waiting lines for customer service and it only costs 9.99 Euros per month.
GUY 1: That’s pretty rad.
GUY 2: I betcha.
GUY 1: Well... You could just have two guys praising about it, like we are.
GUY 2: That’s been done before.
GUY 1: Okay, so... You could go for the shock effect (delivering): ‘The unexpected can hit you any moment.’ Two guys, such as you and I, chatting, crossing the road and then - (clapping his hands) “BAM!”
GUY 1 taps his forehead, knocking on wood.
SFX: A car skids off. “BAM!” It hits both friends in the blink of an eye. Camera pans out as people run to their help.
V.O.: If you saw it coming,
(Suncorp Health Insurance)
‘Don’t touch wood’
A WISH UPON A SNEEZE (35")
EXT./INT. TEMPLE. EVENING.
A man struggles against a snowstorm to reach the top of a remote mountain. He discerns an abandoned temple across the fog and runs in for shelter. Inside, he finds nothing but stone, emptiness and a glimmering oil lamp.
He rubs the dust off it and a blue genie squeezes out.
GENIE: “Today is your luckiest of days. I will grant you three wishes. Think of it and it’ll be yours.”
MAN: “I want… (Sneezing) A-TISSUE!”
A Kleenex appears in the man’s hand.
MAN: “No, I want… (Sneezing, again) A-TISSUE!”
A box of Kleenex materializes in front of him.
MAN: “No, I meant I want… (Sneezing, once more) A-TISSUE!”
Boxes of Kleenex fill the temple.
V.O.: ‘There when you need it’
TELL ME ABOUT IT, STUD (30")
EXT. SCHOOLYARD. DAY
A look-alike remake of the final scene in ‘Grease’:
DOODY: I can’t believe it. Danny Zucco turned Jock?
DANNY: That’s right.
SONNY: What are you doing, deserting us?
DANNY: Oh, c’mon guys, you know you mean a lot to me. It’s just that Sandy does too and I... I’m going to do anything I can to get her, that’s all.
(Prelude to ‘We Go Together’ soundtrack)
SANDY: Tell me about it, stuu- (d)
(The school’s security guard appears out of nowhere and grabs Sandy by the arm)
GUARD: This is a no smoking area, young lady! I’m walking you out. (As they leave, to the crowd) Show’s over everyone!
(Fin Electronic Cigarettes)
V.O.: ‘No interruptions’
COMMUTE INSPIRED MUSIC VIDEOS
While I listen to music on my way to work, I play out music videos in my head. Listen and read these excerpts straight from my notes:
A lifetime told solely by focusing on someone’s feet. From the moment they’re born, we observe how they take their first steps, fall, grow, make other friends, fight in the mud, put on tight school shoes, grow, reach out and touch someone else’s feet, rally, travel, their shoes getting worn out as they walk different lands, commute amongst lots of other feet, spend hours under the desk, let themselves go, get on a plane, meet someone else’s feet, move in together, walk by the shore next to little feet, grow older…
We open to a white screen and zoom into a black dot. As we get closer, we realise that it is a dark hole. We continue travelling forward, inside. A woman lies at the bottom of it. She’s wearing white mesh full bodysuit. She gets up, slowly, and begins to climb her way out of the hole. When she reaches the surface, as the song’s tempo changes, we’re blinded by a flash of light and a white fog takes over the screen. We can still perceive that she’s now walking amongst other silhouettes. They appear to be dancing in an overexposed space, as if we were at a night club, blinded by light instead of darkness. Our eyes start “adjusting” to the light, though. We begin to appreciate shades of grey and dust and discover that we were wrong. We are, in fact, at a refugee camp in Aleppo. The woman is a Syrian girl walking amongst destruction and she’s looking for a home.
In some Californian mansion, on top of a hill, lies a woman by the pool’s edge wearing a corset. She reaches out for a man’s hand inside the pool. He caresses her back, but during the whole duration of the video we will only frame his hands and arms. She carefully steps into the pool. He strips off her corset and swings her back and forth as she floats on water. Her legs and hands completely relaxed, her hair dancing freely under water. She’s looking right up. From her point of view, we watch a group of crows approach. His hands, now surrounding her neck, submerge her under water, away from the birds. When she’s led back up, they’re gone.
This same scenario repeats as we observe the judging look of an old couple, perhaps her parents, looking in from right outside the pool. As her face reaches the surface, they’re also gone. Two more demonstrations. With each time, she’s held underwater for longer. He submerges her as if trying to protect her from outside dangers. The last time, she’s led back out barely in time to catch a breath.
It gets dark. We hear explosions and see them reflected in her eyes. He abruptly grabs her by the neck with his arm and takes her all the way down to the bottom of the pool. This time, running out of breath, she fights him. He continues to hold her gently, but firmly.
She finally manages to get out, steps out of the pool. Water soaks from her body into the ground. Reflected on this puddle, we watch the explosions. She walks towards them.
Full shot of her back while she stares at the explosions, which turn out to be fireworks against a mountain landscape.
A woman walks through the busy streets of Paris carrying a vintage travel case. She hesitantly stops by a flower shop. A man comes out with a bouquet and walks towards her - then past her. She closes her eyes as he does, he has just missed her. She continues her journey, then comes to a full stop. She meets the eyes of a man who stares at her from the park. He’s holding a child, they both wave but then the child runs towards another woman. She moves on. Finally, she reaches the train station and walks towards her gate. There, where a man in a trench coat awaits her, smiling. She runs towards him… No, towards her train. She reaches her destination, a secluded beach, where takes off her clothes and runs into the water, happy and all by herself.